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Влез с потребителско име, парола и продължителност на сесията
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Автор Тема: Голф-куриози, майтапи, смешки, снимки, клипове и т.н  (Прочетена 42398 пъти)
rookie
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« Отговор #30 -: 05 Ноември, 2007, 02:51:43 »

Може и така...  Ухилен

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« Отговор #31 -: 14 Ноември, 2007, 02:51:08 »

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« Отговор #32 -: 17 Декември, 2007, 09:50:24 »

Ernie Els of South Africa plays out of the bush on the sixth hole during the second round of The Alfred Dunhill Championship.

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« Отговор #33 -: 25 Декември, 2007, 12:07:18 »

A man had just finished a putt and reached in the hole to get his ball, but pulled out a leprechaun!
"Sure, and ye have me," cried the leprechaun.
"And if you let me go, for yer trouble, I'll give ye three wishes!"

"Thank you" said the man. "I don't really need anything, so I'll pass on the wishes."
He let the leprechaun go, and went off to finish his game.

The leprechaun was dumbfounded. Who had ever heard of such a thing?
He sat on a pebble and thought to himself "Such a man as that deserves three
wishes!" I'll give 'em to 'in spite 'imshelf? Now what should he wish for?

Why money, of course! Everyone wants money. So, for his first wish he
wants to be a millionaire! And second -- let's make him a great golfer!
And last -- ah! Let him have a wonderful sex life.

A month went by and the leprechaun spotted the man playing on the course
again. He jumped out of a hole and yelled up to the man, "How ye be
doing?"

The man smiled and said, "Hello, little friend. I'm doing just fine."

The leprechaun smiled back and said, "And how's your money situation, if
you don't mind my asking?"

"It's funny you should ask," replied the man. "An uncle of mine passed
away and left me a fortune."

"Ha! Is that so? And how's yer golf game now?"

"It's an amazing thing," said the man. "For the past few weeks I can't do
worse than two under par!"

"Sure, and that's wonderful!" With a sly look, the leprechaun asked,
And how's yer sex life?"

The man, obviously embarrassed, looked away and coughed, "Well, it's fine
Two or three times a month."

The leprechaun was aghast. "Two or three times a month? That's horrible!"

The man looked up and said, "Actually, it's not bad for a priest in a
small parish."
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« Отговор #34 -: 25 Декември, 2007, 12:08:28 »

Joe is teeing off from the back tees. On his downswing he realizes that his wife Mary is teeing up on the red tees directly in his way. Unable to stop his swing he nails it and hits her directly in the temple and kills her dead on the spot. A few days later Joe gets a call from the coroner
regarding her autopsy.

Coroner: "Joe, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the head, is that correct?"

Joe: "Yes sir, that's correct"

Coroner: "Joe, I also found a golf ball wedged up her ass"

Joe: "Was it a Titleist 3?"

Coroner: "Yes, It was"

Joe: "That was my mulligan"
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« Отговор #35 -: 02 Януари, 2008, 12:35:46 »

The Gospel According to St. Titleist

1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
Grantland Rice
2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
John Updike
3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
Robert Lynd
4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
Horace G. Hutchinson
5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
Gardner Dickinson
6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
Sam Snead
7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
William Wordsworth
8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Dean Martin
9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
Tommy Bolt
10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
Bishop Sheen
11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
Arnold Palmer
12. My handicap? Woods and irons.
Chris Codiroli
13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.
 Pete Dye
14. I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting out of them!
Buddy Hackett
15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.
Billy Graham
16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
Jack Lemmon
17. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Harry Vardon
19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them.
Jimmy DeMaret
20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
Ben Hogan
21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.
All Us Hackers
22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
George Deukmejian
And Finally,
23. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
Lee Trevino


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« Отговор #36 -: 17 Февруари, 2008, 08:31:21 »

Зимен голф...  Ухилен
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1125980587/bclid1143371471/bctid1386739192
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« Отговор #37 -: 17 Май, 2008, 11:38:30 »

Bedroom Golf Rules
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment. Normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the CLUB in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict shaft length so not to damage the hole(s).
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will take time to admire the entire course with special attention to the well-formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they consider to be their private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times.
12. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find an alternate means of play when this occurs.
13. Players are strongly encouraged to obtain permission before playing the Back Nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a faster pace, at least temporarily, at the owners request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance; time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
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« Отговор #38 -: 17 Юни, 2008, 01:57:09 »

 Ухилен
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« Отговор #39 -: 21 Юни, 2008, 10:07:18 »

Здравейте,
Преди всичко поздравления - това е единственият полезен бг форум за голф, до който успях да се добера! Допускам сами знаете, какво приключение е да търсиш инфо по темата в  google - я колко милиона са инвестирани за построяването на поредния голф комплекс, я кви са кусурите на folkswagena Усмивчица, иначе на английски има много статии, но не бях убедена в коректния си превод на терминологията, а тя определено не е малко, затова съм ви много блогодарна.
Разбрах, че голф етиката изисква да не се бави ненужно играта Намигване, затова по същество - възложиха ми тема за голфа като lifestyle, но първо, че мразя да чета глупости, написани от некомпетентни по темите си автори и затова не искам да повтарям грешките им. Второ, да си призная, че като човек, любител на екстремните спортове, въобще не бях очорована от голфа. Но се убеждавам, че проблемът произтича от незнанието.
Молбата ми е - споделете нещо повече за модата в облеклото, храна и напитки в 19-дупка. Допускам, че реагирахте с насмешка, затова отправям въпроса си и в темата с майтапите, но нищо не намерих за БГ по проблема, а и ще е доста тъпо да се появя на някое голф игрище без да познавам никого.
Предварително ви благодаря!
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« Отговор #40 -: 24 Юни, 2008, 10:15:30 »

Здравей,
Хич да не ти пука, че не познаваш никого на голфигрището - аз като отидох първия път, да не би да съм познавал Ухилен... Или вземи някого за компания, ако това те притеснява ...  Ако те интересува "голфа като lifestyle", влез във webshots.com и пусни с търсачката golfing, golf и каквото ти дойде на ума - ще видиш достатъчно нагледен материал за lifestyle golf  Ухилен от който да добиеш представа ...
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« Отговор #41 -: 10 Юли, 2008, 10:57:00 »

Най дългата дупка в голфа! 1007 ярда - PAR 6! http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/long58.html
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« Отговор #42 -: 28 Юли, 2008, 02:18:51 »

---

 

 
 
Golf

 
In my hand I hold a ball....     white and dimpled, rather small....

 Oh , how bland it does appear....    this harmless looking little sphere....
 By its size I could not guess....     the awesome strength it does possess....

But since I fell beneath its spell....     I've wandered through the fires of hell...

My life has not been quite the same....     Since I chose to play this stupid game....

It rules my mind for hours on end...     A fortune it has made me spend....
 

It has made me swear and yell and cry...        I hate myself and want to die....

It promises a thing called par....
If I can hit it straight and far..

To master such a tiny ball ...            should not be very hard at all

But my desires the ball refuses....     and does exactly as it chooses...

It hooks and slices, dribbles and dies....    even disappears before my eyes....

Often it will take a whim....    to hit a tree or take a swim. ..

With miles of grass on which to land....    it finds a tiny patch of sand....

Then has me offering up my soul....    if only it would find the hole.. ..

It's made me whimper like a pup. .... and swear that I will give it up....

And take a drink to ease my sorrow....     but the ball knows.....                           
I'll be back tomorrow!!!!  Ухилен Ухилен Ухилен
 
 
 
 
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« Отговор #43 -: 30 Юли, 2008, 08:49:42 »

от сайта на рускике голфъри...  Ухилен Ухилен Ухилен

- Есть участок для строительства гольф-клуба в Краснодаре!!!Нужен спонсор!!!Ваши предложения присылайте на ……Baших откликов!!!Зарание спасибо!!!
- А еще лучше к счету приклей пару фотографий инвалидов срочно нуждающихся в какой-нибудь сложнейшей операции за границей. А уж после объясни, что как только поправятся, так сразу будут отправлены на реабилитацию на гольф поле, построенное все на теже деньги.
Мы даем деньги только инвалидам.
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« Отговор #44 -: 09 Септември, 2008, 10:58:17 »

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